damnpire | Kenos Inbox

[ Lefty's shard can hang out in Add's cage and they can be roommates...

D's little blip of amusement makes Gray glance over at him, a bit confused, and then she realizes that he might also be a fellow Advocate. She has to wonder if it will make living with him more complicated. Not that she has anything to hide, and neither of them are the types to tease each other... but still.

On one hand, it's convenient being able to parse D's feelings beneath his stony exterior. On the other hand, this means D will be feeling the instant alarm Gray feels when Lefty suggests a date, followed by her relief when D immediately shuts him down. That roller coaster of emotion could be interpreted as rude toward D, when really, the idea of going on a date with anybody at all is just intrinsically alarming to Gray. She's hoping he didn't notice.

Unfortunately, Add did notice. ]

What's this, Gray? Don't tell me you're gettin' excited! I'm starting to see that you have a ty—

Excuse me.

[ Gray says this politely to D. And then she walks away, into the chicken coop. The door closes behind her with a wooden clack. ]

[ Add's wailing cannot be contained by the wooden walls of the coop. ]

AAaaaAAaaAAaaAaaAA—!!

[ Like so. It's accompanied by a high-speed smash and rattle of metallic parts like a cocktail being shaked, except the cocktail is a dense metal cube.

This goes on for a good fifteen seconds.

When Gray emerges calmly from the coop, Add is nowhere to be seen. She returns to her spot and looks at D. ]

Please don't mind Add.

[ Take a drink every time D or Gray has to apologize for Lefty or Add... ]

[ D's not wrong, but the reminder doesn't go very far in assuaging his concerns (of which they are many). Though there is a little blip of embarrassment at the nice sentiment of his return that clouds the air between them before he brushes it away.

He won't be so easily distracted!! ]

And what happens when we're not here? You saw what he was like after the Oracle. [ When he died. ] We can't always be there to take care of him.

[ That's just the way life goes. He's already disappeared once, and then died after that. He's not fool enough to think that he's filled some sort of quota rendering him immune to dissipating or disappearing yet again, and he's not fool enough to believe that Gray and D will forever be around even if he isn't. ]

[HAYAME IS ACTUALLY SUCH A SWEET WOMAN (does not tell her this to her face for fear of retribution).]

Not at all. My situation simply seems so much less pressing in comparison. [He thinks he knows what Hayame might say to this maybe. So he adds:] There isn't any need to compare them.

However, I don't think it's necessary to worry very much about mine for now. Since your eye may be compromised, it should be adjusted as quickly as possible.

[No, she is not sweet! She just accused him of insulting her because she couldn't comprehend someone legitimately telling her to put herself first without assuming it was a veiled comment on her ability to handle her own issues or her care for other people!!!!]

...

[Yeah, she was probably going to compare them. Still.]

... Well, I agree. The sooner... the better. As long as it can be done properly.

[Which is where D comes in, but...]

I will be relying on you for this. In case of surveillance, it is best we speak primarily over Communion. Liem Talbott may serve as intermediary when needed.

Once it is done successfully, I would host you at my... home. If that is something you would desire.

[THIS IS....... THE MOST HILARIOUS THING!!!!!

As soon as Gray says to excuse her, and she and Add disappear into the coop, Left Hand stretches his face around to look at D with a truly 😨 expression. The yowling and shaking make the old eyes big on the palm. Erebus lifts his head to glance around at the coop curiously, ears forward.

(Gray is getting a sliver of distant amusement again.)

D returns a taciturn, silent, pointed look at Left Hand, and the parasite winces sympathetically before hurriedly absconding inside once more. It's what happens to naughty additions.

When Gray emerges, only D is left waiting for her, one arm by his side and the other holding the horse's reins like before.]

It's alright. Don't let what the Carbuncle says bother you either.

[They like to stir them up.]

Has he been with you for very long?

[Sounds like Dokja should talk to Sora Kingdom Hearts. Or maybe Riku actually, since he's the one who ratshakes Sora out of the depression.]

I don't know. I don't have an answer for a situation like that. Chances are, there will always be at least one person Dokja cares about left.

And if there isn't, I can't say with certainty he will keep living. Existence is not something I can force onto him.

[A bitter pill to swallow. He's sure Eustace wants him to say some well-meaning and reassuring thing. But Dokja is not the most level-headed person.]

That's alright.

[He gets along with Liem even though he so rudely showed up to Liem's door to talk about how to handle the two of them if they ever turned into a ravenous vampiric beast. Liem isn't a bad man, he doesn't think.

He isn't sure if Hayame means hosting as staying over, or hosting as visiting. Not that he minds the offer for either one. This is why Hayame is a sweet woman. But anyway:]

I am staying at Kim Dokja's house currently. [In case she ever needed him.] But I would not be opposed to visiting, if you'd like.

[He will come visit Hayame!!]

[ It's unfortunate that Eustace doesn't like to hedge his bets on mere chances. Though at the rate things are going, slim chances are all he's going to have soon.

Once again, D is right. Dokja, for all his physical strength, has the mental fortitude of a wet noodle. If his original disappearance from Kenos hadn't proved that then his recent death certainly had. It's a sobering thought - depressing too - and he hasn't been able to come up with any good solution for it despite how long he's spent pondering the problem.

All he can do is work with what he has in the present. ]

And will you stay by him, in the event everyone else leaves?

[ Finally, peace returns to the yard... The collective volume of the property lowers by roughly 200%. ]

Since I was five. The master gravekeeper decided I had aptitude then, and passed Add down to me. There weren't any other children around, so he ended being my closest friend.

[ Try only friend. But still, despite all that has transpired here, D will feel a sincere warmth of gratitude emanating from Gray toward Add. ]

How long has Lefty been with you?

[For a moment, D wants to tell Eustace that, if anything, Dokja could just side with Zenith and hedge his bets on having an Eustace Shard at the end. If it even worked that way.

But this is a little mean in the cold logic of it, and he doesn't think Eustace would appreciate it. So he says nothing about it.]

I don't mind doing that, though my company won't be much of a comfort.

[D has no real true ties to the Frontier, not ones he values himself. Not except for finding the Sacred Ancestor and having questions answered, putting a stop to the perfect being creation.

So he thinks again about the desperation of being a Zenith for a Shard. He wouldn't have one important to him, and he wonders if the two of them could hold onto Gray and Eustace together if it were just the two of them left.]

What will you do now with the time you have with him?

[ why did i make this thread so depressing

D might think of his company as little help, but Eustace feels differently. He's watched people come and go, and watched a little bit of the light fade from Dokja's eyes each time. There may be few people now Dokja considers as friends, but each of them is precious in their own way. ]

He likes you. More than he likes most people. [ Dokja may not be a stoic, but he doesn't trust easily either. ] That's enough.

[ Enough to keep Dokja from spiraling if one of them goes missing for good? Maybe not, but it's better than nothing.

As for that other question....damb. It's not so much a complicated question to answer so much as it is a deeply personal one, and he falls silent for a good handful of seconds, lips thinning as he ponders over how best to answer. In the end he shrugs, expression frank. There's only one answer to that question, as there always has and always will be. ]

Do what makes him happy.

[ Even if it's at the cost of his own well-being and comfort. He's long since learned to discard his own feelings, the constant build-up of blood on his hands enough to deter him from seeking any personal happiness or fulfillment. If it makes Dokja happy, then that's all that matters. ]

[... No. Liem is not a bad man. Even though she has seen him dead for betraying Meridian, though she had disavowed him until finally demanding he come back to ~~her~~ them... even despite their vicious fight during the Exalt Oracle over the sudden revelation that her so-called friend had been hiding the fact that he drank blood from her...

He is the only one of those so-called friends who wasn't shamelessly continuing to flirt and fraternize with the demon who had tortured her, even after seeing the pain and humiliation it had visited upon her. She will never forget that, even as she wonders... if that is really what friendship is supposed to be.]

Visiting... It is not- It is not about "like", it is about showing gratitude...

[Surely it made sense? She was asking him to do something potentially dangerous, of course she should repay him at least with some fine drink and hosting... ?]

[As annoying as Add can be, he is glad to hear Gray had an easier time inheriting the thing. It helps Add isn't integrated into her body, but he can commiserate with the mind part.

And with other instances, too. When your annoying parasite entity is your only "friend".....

Gray is so forthcoming with admitting as much, so he says:]

...I was about the same age.

[For the moment, he doesn't tell her Left Hand was experimentally inserted into him... but it might be obvious in a way considering it happened when he was a child.

What child would ask for that unless they were just attacked?]

[sometimes you need some depression to be thankful of the other idiot threads!!!!!

It's strange to slowly figure out over time that Dokja is an extremely furtive man. But D supposes those sorts of people have the most to hide, especially when it's their true feelings.

He wishes people wouldn't like him, though. Eternal life is easier that way? No connections means no repeated suffering.

A hum of acknowledgement comes out of him. He watches Eustace from where he's sitting. It's the best answer he could get. D is soft that way.]

Including being happy yourself? Since it's what seems to make him the happiest.

[ Too late for D, because plenty of people already like him. Eustace may not necessarily be in that camp yet - though he certainly doesn't dislike the young (but also old?) man - but he certainly wouldn't be happy if D were to die a violent death or disappear into the woods one day.

Suck it up D and accept that you have friends now.

But also? It would be nice if D could stop asking hard questions. There's another twist to Eustace's lips as he faces the question head on, though there's less of a pause before he answers this time. ]

Seeing him happy makes me happy.

[ Not strictly true, but it's the closest he'll allow himself to being happy. ]

[ When will Gray stop being surprised by this conversation... She stares up at D, trying to picture him as a small child being implanted (invaded?) with such a strange entity as Lefty. It should be unthinkable, but she instead understands it quite well. Being so young, having your body altered so. A complicated look crosses Gray's face before her eyes lower.

Though she's curious, she doesn't feel familiar enough yet to pry. There are some things she'd rather not discuss with a recent acquaintance; call it projection, but she imagines D might feel the same on this particular subject. ]

I see... We really have a lot in common.

[ Freakishly so. It's startling to think that someone she can relate to in such a rare manner has spontaneously come to live under the same roof as her.

She blinks as she remembers why this happened in the first place. She glances back at the house. ]

Mr. Dokja might be surprisingly astute...

[ A mastermind even........ Gray wonders if she should reform her view of him. ]

[Hayame is cute and funny in her attempt to be a socially acceptable person.]

I'll visit after we see to your eye then.

[Hopefully this will spare her from any more fluster. He's getting the impression she is straightforward in all areas. He just has to simply say he will do something and not leave it up to her to decide if it's appropriate when she's already trying her best. That's okay.

Straightforward person to straightforward person communication.]

[This thread has gone on a wild ride, and now we're here at cute, mushy Eustace feels.

D understands the idiocy conundrum here of Eustace and Dokja wanting the other to be happy, but at the expense of their own happiness despite the happiness being contingent on the latter.]

You are both going to have to be happy together.

[Stupids.......]

I told him, by the way. About being a dhampir. Before the Oracle. Did he argue with you?

[They really are the same person...... D is not thinking much different than Gray. Had Dokja parsed some of their similarities when speaking to him on a few occasions...?

He won't tattle on Gray, but he will tattle on Dokja as a gentle, almost distantly affectionate bullying:]

His intent was for me to meet you. He made it sound as if it was for your benefit, [he says this as if he does not believe his company could ever be for anyone's benefit] but now I am wondering if he thought it would also be for mine...

[He follows Gray's gaze directly across the yard at the nearest window or door which would be at the kitchen.

Dokja..........]

It had not been my intent to intrude on your lives.

[ They'll both be happy when D's happy, how about that. :/

The question comes as a surprise though, his slowly drooping posture stiffening back up as he frowns. ]

Argue?

[ No...but now that he thinks about it, Dokja had been acting weird that last week before the Oracle, shooting him glares when he thought he could get away with it and remaining surprisingly quiet. There'd obviously been something going on, but with all the build-up and preparation needed for the Oracle there hadn't been time to ask.

And then he'd died! ]

No, but he was acting strange. Did he say he was angry with me?

[Stares at the two of them with my piercing, beady eyes.]

I assumed he would be foolish.

[Dokja seems to always be pretty foolish about a lot of things.]

Being a dhampir didn't bother him as much as it should, and yet your decision to wait until I spoke to him seems to have made him upset.

I told him not to argue with you because your intentions were to let me do it.

[He sounds a bit disappointed Dokja is choosing to be petty from... insecurity? He doesn't know.]

I'm sorry. It would have been better if you simply had told him.

[D would have accepted the brunt of the breach of trust.]

[ So all this is just Dokja being Dokja, got it. It's vaguely annoying but nothing new, and if Eustace closes his eyes and sighs again, that's just because such things have become habit by now. ]

You don't need to apologize. [ ONCE AGAIN D DID NOTHING WRONG!! ] If he was upset about it, he should have confronted me.

[ Instead of acting like a CHILD. But alas, things are never so easy in the Dokja('s ankles) household. He's not really looking forward to having this conversation, especially not when he's still recovering, but better sooner than later. ]

I'll talk to him about it. [ So they can argue. ]

[Gods, D, she is trying so hard.]

... I will look forward to that day, then.

[... Thanks for the merciful out of straightforward person to straightforward person communication. Yoroshiku ;;]

[Nooooooooooooo, D doesn't want Dostace ruined which is fortunate for me because I also do not want Dostace ruined.

But there is little he can do now, as it is, and there isn't any point in getting involved in any way with this part of it. Godspeed to Dad...]

You should be resting.

[He will just day it!!!!! He's blunt like Dad, too.]

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