[But it is like a wave crashing against the shore.

And she is so tired of crashing, even if her pride, her character, her trauma prevent her from simply giving in and becoming a placid pond.

It is not acceptance nor understand that leads her to say what she does, but-]

... I will kill you if that freak makes a monster of you.

And if I can retrieve your shard, I will try and revive you.

Hopefully, with more sense than when you volunteered for this.