[ Matt remembers D telling him something to that effect, before the bite. He remembers not really believing him. But he couldn't sense his emotions then the way he can now. The distaste that roils as if it's lurching in his own stomach. ]

You told me you didn't want to compel people against their will, [ he says. Still quiet, but with a slight questioning note in his voice. ] So if I wanted you to do it, it wouldn't be ...

[ But he doesn't want to ask D to do something he'd genuinely hate. Matt's already carrying enough shame; he couldn't inflict more. Even though a part of him aches for that warm, easy feeling, the yes coursing through his veins--he can do without it. He's told people things like this before, hasn't he?

Has he ...?

Matt's quiet for what feels like a long time. He doesn't look at D, and he keeps his arms wrapped around himself. ]

I got lost, [ he says eventually. Even his thoughts are stilted, as if resisting coming together to shape a whole story. ] In Kowloon. And he found me.

I tried to talk my way out of it ... tried some magic tricks. I even started a fire. [ Matt's lips twitch. ] But it didn't work. He told me to hold still, that he wasn't going to kill me. That he wanted to teach me a lesson about spying on him. [ Matt adds, unnecessarily, ] He thought I was spying on him.