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Kenos Inbox
voice / text / communion
D's mind is a cacophony of things.
The landscape is shadow and darkness, and it is chilly and reserved where D sits in it; he feels like a simple young man. Quiet, soft, human. But behind the stoicism is a warm, sensual, and elegant sliver of something primordial and powerful. Embracing it is hypnotic, arousing, yet also a little horrifying.
Amidst all of this is something else, too: a craggled and old presence which can be heard on occasion cackling or chattering separately, the crusty voice belonging neither to D or the peculiar entity in the space.
The landscape is shadow and darkness, and it is chilly and reserved where D sits in it; he feels like a simple young man. Quiet, soft, human. But behind the stoicism is a warm, sensual, and elegant sliver of something primordial and powerful. Embracing it is hypnotic, arousing, yet also a little horrifying.
Amidst all of this is something else, too: a craggled and old presence which can be heard on occasion cackling or chattering separately, the crusty voice belonging neither to D or the peculiar entity in the space.
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It feels very like Eustace to be belligerently determined on behalf of the people in this household. It's also not a surprise. When Eustace was cursed to be infatuated with him, he could see the whispers of this then.]
Do you have any resilience to diseases?
[Might as well briefly open a conversation about it... Like Eustace, D does not jump to do anything without a lot of forethought.]
Are you sure you're willing to chance the probability of becoming a mindless husk waiting for the next Kiss?
[D doesn't think this will happen. If even Doris could power through Count Magnus Lee's bite, then Eustace is probably fine. Maybe.]
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--Is not what Eustace is thinking, because I refuse to IC/OOC blur. Rather, he appreciates the gravity with which D is approaching this situation, and the continued patient demeanor he presents in spite of having a stranger barge in on his business. It seems that Dokja hasn't chosen poorly in inviting D to live with them. If only he hadn't been a vampire.
But, well, he's traveled with vampires before in the past. None of them have ever given him any reason to dislike the species as a whole.
The possible future of him wandering around as a mindless husk isn't appealing, by any means, but he's faced worse fates than a potential vampiric seduction. It gives him pause to think, but ultimately his answer remains the same. ]
I'm stronger than I look.
[ Maybe not physically because unfortunately he was designed as a gacha twunk, but surely mentally. He's spent too much time hardening his heart and his mind for it all to be worth nothing now. If nothing else, he can hope that his Shard will offer him some measure of protection. It's not like he's all that human anymore, able to withstand death, able to change his form into another when he couldn't before. He's a different person, now. It only makes sense to take different risks than before. ]
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Eustace isn't going to be dissuaded, he realizes. D thinks he could just leave, and Eustace would maybe accept that as a rejection if only to harbor reluctance because of Dokja. (His own reluctance about this is for the same reason. What if he hurts someone they care about?)
If D is honest, he'd rather it be Eustace, of anyone in this household. He does not want it to be Gray, and he's already seen how fool-hardy Dokja can be after Alenroux. It being Eustace is a mercy.
After a very long moment, D closes the plate of the horse's hock, and he lowers the tool to the top of the stool as he fluidly draws himself to stand. The red haze draped around him follows.
When he faces Eustace with those blazing eyes, a sudden and warm heat draws up through Eustace's stomach from the thighs. The shadows of the stable are thicker somehow, almost concealing D completely. Just two carnelian gems hover in the shade, boring through Eustace, down into the depths. D's long fingers unfurl, palm up; Eustace can't be sure when D had even extending his arm.
No command is issued, but Eustace can feel the urge bubbling up from within, tickling his mind at the nape: Come. From behind, the darkness of the stable pushes Eustace forward; and from the front, the most convincing and beautiful man he's ever seen stands before him.]
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But at least an A-level one, because those special effects are pretty sick. Eustace, already stiff as a board, doesn't have much room to turn even more statue-like but his gaze does follow each of D's movements as he rises from his seat and stretches out one long arm.
He'd thought it was suffocating inside the stable before, but he realizes now that back then was nothing compared to this. It's as though control of his body is slowly being wrested away from him, and a filter being placed over his mind to toss out any thought that doesn't align with his growing need to step forward and immerse himself in the company of the most beautiful man in Kenos—and perhaps all of existence.
And yet not the man he actually wants, he reminds himself, even as he follows the urges of both his mind and body and takes that first - and then second - step forward. It's alarming how quickly his pulse speeds up in anticipation of what's to come, and how quickly heat spreads through his veins, enough so that he grits out a few muttered words even as he closes the distance between them. ]
If it doesn't work [ read: if he gets struck down into the clutches of a thrall ] do me a favor and kill me.
[ But like, for real. Not a joke. ]
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With how D continues to act like his taciturn self, it's clear this aura is a sort of instinctual overlay which D cannot completely control. He supposes he has his father to thank for that.
He slips his fingers around one of Eustace's wrists when the man is in reach, drawing the arm behind himself so Eustace is pulled closer.]
I will.
[Before Dokja comes to hopefully eviscerate him.
The fingers of his other hand pass through the hair at the base of Eustace's neck, skin surprisingly warm for a man so pale. The punctures are sure going to be a thing Eustace carries back to normalcy, and maybe Dokja would have been better off walking in here and seeing them like this from the start.
The only thing he can do is to bite lower than the pulsing section of Eustace's neck. The craving suddenly comes on a little stronger than he thought it would, and D feels baser for it. He's become a lesser version of his former self.
The fingers swing down beneath Eustace's collar to pull the clothing out of the way, and he drops his lips onto the slope where the neck meets the shoulder. He bites with no preamble, with two long canine which hadn't been there when Eustace found him. The blood swelling into his mouth is ambrosia to his senses, and he has to double down on his focus.
On the other hand, Eustace feels nothing. Whatever pinch had been expected doesn't come. An overwhelming surge of arousal arrives instead, pouring from the top of Eustace's head down between the knees. It's the euphoric haze earned after wonderful sex, leaving Eustace in a brief daze.
A terrible, dark power sweeps into Eustace's mind, trying to overpower it, but it isn't quite able to force itself in the nooks. The image of a tall, imposing, and beautiful man who resembles D flashes in Eustace's mind. The man's eyes burn perpetually as red as D's had, but his presence is weighted with an age unfathomable. As old as a planet, as old as time.
His rich, deep voice says, "Cut them apart."
Then the man is gone, and Eustace is instead restrained in a thick chair welded into the floor of a wide and industrial room. Monitors beep and buzz, and pads have been stuck to his pale, nude form. Across from him, he sees D, shorn haired, who looks not much older than ten. D is similarly restrained in an indentical chair, the legs, the arms, the chest, the head. Putrid colored liquid slowly begins to descend the IV into D's arm, and Eustace realizes at an icy sting, the same is happening to him.
Almost immediately, he can feel the fiery burn of hell split his veins. A thousand ants crawling beneath his skin, the sun is inside of him. He thrashes against the binds convulsively, but laughter comes out of his mouth instead of the scream he expects. Just laughter. Wild, unhinged laughter.
But then Eustace understands it isn't him laughing, but D across from him. Through thr similar shaking and twisting, clawing, D is laughing maniacally, and Eustace has one thought, he does not want to be like his brother.
When Eustace opens his eyes, D is holding him upright in the stable. The inner rim of D's lips are red, but there is no other sign he's had a taste of Eustace's blood. He's watching Eustace's face, eyes dimmer and ringed by the embers of the bright red from before. Eustace can feel the strange hum of life force from D, as if they are intertwined and synchronized. He knows where D exists and can feel D know him as well.]
Do you remember your name?
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The fingers at the nape of his neck, the lips brushing lightly against his skin, the heady scent of anise and leather that fill his nostrils and his mind....together they form a scene so startlingly intimate that it takes everything in him to remember that this is nothing more than an impersonal transaction agreed upon by two men no more than acquaintences. It feels like sinking into a bed of silk sheets, a prelude to tangled limbs and whispered words intended for the ear of only a single recipient.
He has just enough time to whisper a sincere apology in the most sacred, tucked away corners of his heart before it hits him, the sensual fantasy eclipsed by a euphoric reality, every nerve ending awash in such pleasure that it's a miracle his knees don't give way. (Or maybe they do and D has just been kindly supporting him this entire time, what a gentleman.) It's enough of a blindside that he doesn't fight the man who sweeps into his mind nor the scene that unfolds afterwards, terrible and all-encompassing. There's a part of him that recognizes it for what it is - not a memory of his own, an elaborate occurrence unfolding only in the confines of his mind - even while the larger part of him can't help but react appropriately, as if every single tube attached to him and every single noise assaulting his ears is real and true. Discomfort radiates off him, mingling with fear and anxiety, and every muscle in his body - in both reality and this memory - tenses.
It's so many things that leave him exhausted by the time the last of the laughter fades and enough of his own consciousness returns to him for him to groggily open his eyes. How long has it been? Surely no more than a handful of minutes, and yet it feels like it's been an eternity. He can still feel his heartbeat pounding too loud in his ears and the lingering caress of unequaled bliss heavy in his limbs. Maybe it should be a little concerning that he doesn't answer right away, still too preoccupied with steadying his breathing and trying to make sense of the flashback seared into his mind.
Does he remember his own name? A good question. It's really unfortunate he doesn't answer it, countering instead with a haggard question of his own. ]
What was that?
[ But maybe the question is reassuring in its own way, a reflection of the personality he's solidified over the last twenty years of a man preferring to forge his own path ahead without regard to the consideration of others. At least the core of who he is is still there, intact and whole despite the mental onslaught he'd just taken. ]
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D continues to hold Eustace until Eustace can stand unassisted. It's the polite thing he can do after juicing the guy. A bit worrying Eustace didn't confirm the name knowledge; however, at least Eustace seems in control of most faculties. A decent sign. Eustace is also thankfully not bleeding out.
NICE!
D's dim eyes look again over Eustace's face. He's impressed Eustace even came to consciousness again. Thralling happens easily, and it means becoming a zombie laid out wherever, dazed and waiting for the vampire to return.]
What did you see?
[Whatever it had been, D had not witnessed it himself But he is curious. His DNA means all kinds of whacky shit can occur.
Nothing would surprise him so much as intrigued him.]
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Also sorry to make D wait even longer as Eustace continues to scrape up his scrambled brain bits, sorting out which thoughts are his, which thoughts seem a little too discordant to be his, and whether or not he is actually back in reality or if what he's experiencing now is just a continuation of the vision before. (After all, he doesn't usually get to be held in the arms of an ethereally beautiful man......or does he? Looks at Dokja.)
The information comes out in bits and pieces, his voice still haggard and his breaths uneven. ]
A man....a boy in a chair. [ Both alarmingly beautiful in the same way D is. ] Tubes and fluids. Laughter.
[ This really just sounds like a insane man spouting out a series of unrelated words, but hopefully D's familiar enough with the events of his own life to put those pieces together. ]
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He doesn't have to see any memory, or dream, or vision to knkw exactly what man Eustace saw.
An old god, a ruler of the industrious revolution of vampires when there was once a prominent major city of them, the one interconnected with other cities through expansive superhighways.
He still does not care for offering Eustace any explanation, but after what he has done, Eustace deserves at least some answer.]
It was a laboratory. A place Nobles ran experiments in an attempt to create the perfect being. The man you saw was their king, the highest leader of their council.
[He does not say anything about the boy, but he does have another question:]
Who did the boy look like?
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Even if he still has no idea who the hell these Nobles are supposed to be.
By now his breathing is a little more even, and a little more color's returned to his cheeks. He doesn't feel the hypnotic pull from before, though somehow D's presence in the stable feels more highlighted than before. Straightening, he turns to gaze at D's (still ethereally) beautiful face, comparing the delicate features there with the ones he'd seen in his mind. ]
He looked like you, actually.
[ And with that said! ]
How are you feeling?
[ Does he still feel the urge to (yuul voice) suck people off? ]
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D returns Eustace's autonomy with standing, but doesn't let go of full support, too worried Eustace will end up on the stable ground from the wooziness of blood loss. For what it's worth, D did not drink as much as he could because he a) imposes strict self control on himself, and b) has a nagging, ugly old voice in his mind yelling at him to not be stupid.]
Level. I owe you a debt for your help.
[Help Eustace didn't have to extend to him because Eustace is already a little wary of him suddenly taking up space in their household.]
Thank you. It should be a while before it happens again.
[He's hoping he will have pills for artificial blood by then, but maybe luck will be shitty to him.]
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The words are so unexpected that Eustace is caught off-guard, eyes widening even as he rights himself fully to his usual stick-straight upright position. Now that he's (somewhat) clearheaded again and no longer in danger of succumbing to D's sexy vampire aura, he's actually starting to feel a little bad about steamrolling his way through. It's clear that there's a lot of shit going on behind that handsome face, a lot more than he would have expected. What's that saying again, don't judge a book by its cover? You'd think he would learn that after working in a literal bookstore for so long, and yet.
He shakes his head slightly, almost in a rejection of D's words. ]
You don't owe me anything. I was the one that [ selfishly ] asked you to do this.
[ And it had been selfish, because he'd been more worried about Dokja and Gray than he had about D's feelings in all of this. But weirdly enough, he feels like he has a better grasp on D now despite having offered himself up as a juice box. Nothing like getting to know a person's true nature underneath a normally polite facade.
D may be more of a threat in general, but Eustace feels slightly less threatened by his presence now. ]
What do you need for your alternative to...this?
[ Maybe they can work Together..... Truly this is bonding at its finest. ]
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I could have refused.
[If he had been a stronger man............
And now Eustace is already trying to help him more. SEE? This is why there is a debt.]
Technology Kenos likely doesn't have. But I would rather make the attempt than not even if it ends in failure. Liem mentioned someone in Kowloon, the owner of the Cache. I had intended to speak to vampires in Kowloon already, so it's worth visiting.
[...........]
Let me take you back to the house. You should eat something and rest.
[After the snack.]
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A snack for a snack sounds nice though, Eustace drooping once again as the aftereffects of blood loss start hitting him. Good thing he's not Dokja, malnourished and skinny. His health has always been good, which leaves him a little more stable in situations like these.
It's a little bit of a relief to know that D has others he's working with on this matter, and Eustace nods once in acknowledgment. ]
If there's anything I can do, let me know.
[ Probably not, since he doesn't have many connections in Springstar or anywhere else, but it feels right to make the offer anyway, just in case. With that out of the way, he straightens again with the intent to return to the house and grab himself a snack. A juice box for a juice box? 🥺
Before he can take that first step though, another thought hits him and he turns back to D. ]
Does Dokja know? [ Wait, why is he asking this when he knows for a fact that Dokja is one of the stupidest men on the planet? Eustace makes a slight face at the belated realization, then he corrects his phrasing. ] You should tell him.
[ Because otherwise Eustace will tell him and that just feels like a breach of the other man's privacy. ]
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Something akin to buyer's remorse is happening now. Biting remorse. D is annoyed that the only thing he could consider was satiating the curse for blood, and now he is feeling guilty he allowed it to happen to anyone much less the people in this household.]
You can start by not asking for me to do this again to you.
[By his tone, it doesn't sound like this is a forceful command given in earnest, more of an exasperated resignation.
He knows Eustace won't, not when Dokja and Gray are here. He can't blame Eustace really. It's why D was in the stable at all from the start; removing himself from the vicinity.
He is quiet for a long stretch of moment under the last question.]
If he finds out, then he finds out.
[It feels strange to barge in and just say he's a half-vampire. When does he find the moment to do such a thing? Why can't Dokja simply not be stupid?
Then Dokja will ask him pestering questions to try getting to know him...
Not that this won't happen anyway if Eustace or Gray told.]
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Trust me, I'd rather not.
[ Please don't make him feel like a pseudo-cheater a second time.
But he follows along as they make their way out of the stable, glad that he hasn't been turned into a living husk for the time being. Things he's less glad about: D's apparent passivity towards revealing his nature as a vampiresque being. On the one hand, kind of understandable since vampires don't enjoy a good rep in most parts of the world. On the other hand, does he really think he can just conceal it when he has particular needs that have to be met?
Eustsace looks over, brows creasing. ]
You don't think it's unfair to keep it from him?
[ AFTER HE INVITED D INTO THE SANCTITY OF HIS HOUSE!! ]
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I'm not.
[JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T OUTRIGHT SAY IT!! He can't help Dokja is an idiot. Dokja hadn't even realized child him was him until long after they had been on their way to safety. Gray caught on very quickly, on the other hand.
He is just mildly offended Eustace makes it sound as if he is keeping a secret from Dokja on purpose. Alas, he does owe Eustace a debt........
Before he opens the door:]
I can tell him if it is something you want of me.
[Then he opens the door.]
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Alas, they have all suffered. ]
That's not my choice to make. [ This isn't about him, this is about D??? ] I won't hide today from him though.
[ The (yuul voice) sucking off and everything else that comes with it. Eustace may be fumbling his way through his first real relationship, but even he knows the foundation to any good relationship is honesty. (not me typing this while staring at dokja the lying liar who lies)
D pulls the door open and so charitably holds it open, and instead of going in Eustace just stands there staring at D. What a jerk. ]
If you don't want me telling him, you should first.
[ The words don't particularly sound like a threat. Rather, they sound closer to a suggestion, a frank statement of fact. Also, D should really get on it first so Eustace doesn't go around spreading misinformation because he only knows half of the story (like the fact that D is only half vampire). ]
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[Honestly, even if Dokja took it badly, if Dokja came after him to kill him, that would be fair and valid. D finds it acceptable.
He has killed other vampires for just the same. Why not him when he stoops as low? (Granted, many of theirs wasn't with a single ounce of consent, but nevermind.)
Maybe he will just leave to make it better for everyone.......]
He may figure it out before I can. [If he and Eustace are so close.] I'll tell him when I'm able if he doesn't know.
[Or explain if Dokja 🧍♂️s him.
He won't let Eustace just stand here. He maneuvers Eustace in the house, coming along himself since he doesn't trust Eustace to simply stop again to lecture him.]
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Also it's the role of a father to lecture his child? Even though they are definitely not father and son in any way. But on the bright side, Eustace being a man of (usually) few words means that he's all lectured out by now. Whatever happens from here on out will happen.
Under his breath, he mutters to himself. ]
He won't figure out anything if you don't tell him.
[ Sometimes a man is so stupid he doesn't even understand what a kiss means.
But he lets himself be pushed into the house, taking it upon himself to head towards the kitchen so he can get his fruit snacks once they're inside. D no longer has to babysit him anymore, he can walk on his own. ]
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D allows Eustace to be his own man, but D continues to haunt the space near the door, watchful.
He can still sense things inside the house, but not with the same level of feralness after he has been satiated. Eustace has good blood. Is that weird to say? He does not say it to Eustace because it is weird.]
Is he usually that way?
[D wants to know why he has to tell Dolkja shit when Dokja wouldn't tell him shit.]
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While D stands in observation, Eustace digs through the fruit bowl, wading through oranges and pears until he finally fishes out an apple. He doesn't look at D when he answers, though from the way his ears stand upright on his head it's clear he's still paying attention to the other man. ]
Stupid, you mean?
[ No, he knows that's not what D means, but sometimes you have to vent out a little frustration at your rocks-for-brains significant other (affectionate).
Instead of elaborating (or even correcting himself), he turns to lean against the counter, taking a large bite out of the apple in his hand. He's too tired for proper upright military posture right now, so sue him. D has to suffer through another two bites' worth of apple munching before he finally gets a real answer, and even that one's questionable at best. ]
He's....difficult.
[ Unlike before, there's nothing flippant or dismissive about his tone. ]
He hasn't told me much [ wow, what a shocker ] but he's lost a lot. More than I probably know. [ A little bit of juice trickles down one side of the apple and drips onto his finger. He ignores it. ] If I had to take a guess, everything he does he does as a way to protect himself.
[ A way to protect himself from further loss, and a way to keep himself alive in an onslaught of miserable situations one after another. (Because seriously, who learns to steal perfume as a failsafe?) Eustace sighs, letting his eyelids droop closed for a moment and his head fall forward. ]
He's not a bad person. He just...needs patience.
[ Of course, if D doesn't want to do that he's well within his rights not to.
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The fact D and Eustace will bond over Dokja's rock for brains existence. Their shared exasperation.
Luckily, the way Dokja had treated both him and Gray gave him a good idea of how clingy Dokja was to the people who matter to him. And now Val will kill Eustace, and D will have to be the one to let Dokja and Gray know. Because all of this only solidifies his understanding of how important they are to each other.
D's eyes lower under his lashes to the floor thoughtfully. He has plenty of patients by the way he is fine with Eustace's eating.]
I'll keep that in mind.
[He's diffcult about being forthcoming sometimes too. CASE IN POINT. He turns and puts his hand on the door, but glances back at Eustace.]
Don't forget to rest.
finally frees anna from my nefarious clutches
But Eustace will at least be forthcoming in his desire to rest, his eyes opening again even as he gives D a nod of his head. ]
I will.
[ Who knew being a juicebox would be so exhausting? ]
You don't have to keep watch over me.
STOP now i have to go annoy yuul bc dokja is stupid
[Casually makes it sound like he trusts Eustace with not being stupid, but really, he trusts Eustace only as much as he trusts Dokja to not try powering through things.
Like himself too! Haha! The men in this house SUCK.
He returns Eustace's nod, then finally opens the door to return himself to the stable like he is being punished for misbehavior.
The only downside is despite D being in the stable, Eustace will realize he can still sense a little of D's general presence. Soft and warm in thr distance, like a small ember of life.]