damnpire | Kenos Inbox

[ Eustace takes a careful step in at the invitation, though he lingers near the doorway even after stepping inside. He owes D a debt now, that's for certain, but the two of them still aren't friends to the point that Eustace would be comfortable enough waltzing in and taking up space on his bed.

Dokja had already told him of the events that had transpired during the Oracle, and he's caught glimpses of the other man during the few occasions he'd gotten out of bed while recovering from the fatigue of his rebirth, but it's still hart-hitting to see the emptiness where D's left arm had once been. A slight frown settles onto his face unconsciously. ]

I wanted to thank you. For what you did during the Oracle.

[ Attempting to rescue his Shard, that is, even if he doesn't say as much aloud. But D is smart unlike certain other parties that reside in this house, so the chance of him picking up on the unspoken meaning is high. ]

[Eustace doesn't sit on the bed, but D understands very well as he also would not sit on someone else's bed more than likely.

He turns back to the sewn leather of his left arm so he can finish the last little bit of it. He tries the thread then pulls it taut, and somehow pops it apart with just the push and pull of his fingers.]

You don't have to thank me.

[He is smart unlike certain other Dokja house residing people... Not naming names. He also knows the thanks is for the attempt, but without obtaining the Shard at all, it feels unwarranted.

Neatly, the hook and leather are put out of the way on the table, and then he stands up. He motions to the empty chair, sidestepping. Eustace looks tired, so please sit in this chair, old man!!]

How are you feeling?

[ WHO IS D CALLING AN OLD MAN WHEN A 22K YEAR OLD GUY AND A 10K YEAR OLD GUY ARE BOTH LIVING IN THE HOUSE AND EUSTACE IS TALKING TO ONE OF THEM!!! Also no, he will not sit down, because unfortunately he is a stubborn old man.

He is also going to push his point, because again he is a stubborn old man. ]

And you didn't have to go find my Shard.

[ There might be a bond now between them that wasn't present before due to their impromptu snack session, but that doesn't behold either of them to the other. They may live under the same house, have a few of the same acquaintences, but that doesn't mean D has any responsibility to watch over him.

Therefore! The thanks that he is now delivering. ]

Especially when you were already at a disadvantage.

[ With another loook at the empty arm space. Did he conveniently forget to answer the question of how he's feeling....perhaps. ]

[hehe... STOP BEING STUBBORN AND SIT DOWN!! D slowly turns the chair outward to face in Eustace's direction. Pointedly but without comment. Here. Eustace isn't going to sit, is he?

Old man...]

I would not be the hunter I am if I was at a disadvantage simply because of an arm.

[Eustace just looking at his disability instead of answering his question. Tch. Well, D's not arrogant enough to think he wouldn't have a difficult time, but he does not think the lack of arm posed a gigantic risk to his skills.]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to retrieve your Shard. [Fights Eustace's stubborn thankfulness with unnecessary, polite apologies.] I did not know what had happened, and when I realized Tartaglia had it in his possession, I was not sure what he would do with it. I thought it best if it was returned to Kim Dokja and Gray.

[ That is a very pointed move and he doesn't like it. He will acknowledge the chair being pointed his direction by standing up a little straighter and digging his heels into the wood flooring. Eustace is definitely not going to sit. Will he have to go take an old man nap later for his stubbornness? Maybe. ]

You were under no obligation to retrieve it. [ Hence the DESERVED! APPRECIATION!! ] I made a misstep. I should have been the one to take responsibility for my own actions.

[ By....staying in Shard form in Childe's pocket, apparently?? Who knows. He does sound apologetic for his Oracle failures though. ]

He mentioned he would keep it safe, before we fought. I owe him thanks as well for keeping his word. [ He really just has a whole list of people to say thanks to, huh? ] In any other situation, I would have avoided an encounter with him but...

[ It wasn't exactly him that stepped out of the shadows to greet Childe. ]

[These two are by far the most stupid ass men in the house, and that is saying SO MUCH when Dokja is right there. The ball is still in Eustace's court even if Eustace has remained stubborn. D continues to stand there by the chair anyway.]

I don't think you would have had any chance to take responsibility for something in which you had no control. Tartaglia said you had initiated the fight with him. That didn't sound like you.

[D ACTING LIKE HE KNOWS ALREADY VERY WELL HOW EUSTACE WOULD ACT IN AN ALTERCATION. Bold.]

Do you remember what happened to you before you ran into him?

[ This is now a war of attrition between two of the stupidest men in Springstar. Where's the king of stupidness in all of this? Probably out in the city somewhere, being stupid.

On the bright side, the conversation itself seems to be shifting to something more serious, that will hopefully take attention away from the fact that Eustace still refuses to sit like the elderly man he is. ]

It wasn't me that fought him. [ That sounds weird. He wrinkles his nose and tries again to elaborate. ] I was—caught by the shadows in the labyrinth. They took my Shard and impersonated my form. I presume they didn't copy my habits very well if they chose to challenge Childe to a fight.

[ Eustace is unfortunately very predictable so it's okay if D wants to boldly assume how he would act in battle. ]

[Imagine two men :man_standing: in their house at each other for no reason whatsoever.]

The Harbinger effigy seemed to be in want of something. I also did not act like myself on most occasions.

[Don't ask what he had been doing though, it's very embarrassing. He's looking in the other direction, not acknowledging it. To distract from Eustace having a chance (right now) to ask about it, he says very softly:]

Kim Dokja had been very worried about you, you know.

[Blabbing the feelings of each of them to the other, it's fine.]

[ Thanks for reminding me to go stalk your bang threads.

It's fine though, D can blab about Dokja's embarrassing feelings because god knows Dokja is never going to do it himself. It should be very touching that Dokja was so worried but all Eustace can muster up is a tired sigh, along with a brief closure of his eyelids. ]

He worries too much.

[ SAYS EUSTACE, THE HYPOCRITE WHO ALSO WORRIES TOO MUCH!! Hate it here.

But the difference is that Eustace can at least hold it together while he's worried, unlike Dokja the glass table who falls apart at the first sign of panic. It's unhealthy and they need to do something about it. ]

Did you wait with him at all at the Tree?

[ Not that he thinks D has any obligation to hang around for him, but considering Dokja's collapsed state of mind, it would have been nice to have someone there with him for even a little bit. ]

You mean a lot to him.

[NO!!!!!!!!!! :CRYINGKIRBY: DON'T LOOK AT THEM!!!!

D is aware Dokja and Eustace worry too much, but he also does not think worrying about people you care for is a bad thing. It means they care, that they can love. And being compassionate means more to D than anything else.

Wondering if Eustace will stop being stubborn if he does, D decides to venture over to sit on the edge of the bed. He will see... He sits in a kind of ridiculous way, sort of formal, back straight and perched right on the end with the only remaining hand resting on his thigh.]

For a while a few times. [:man_standing: by Dokja.] I assumed he wasn't taking care of himself, so I brought him food.

[He's not sure if Dokja bothered eating it, but the least he could do is get it there.]

[ Good for D that he's willing to take a seat on his bed....however Eustace is still not going to sit. He will, however, lean against the doorframe in a partial compromise.

It should be comforting to know that Dokja cares about him enough that it's become visibly apparent to those around him, but the knowledge only makes his heart hurt more. Some days he wonders if it would be better if Dokja cared less. Maybe then he wouldn't have a breakdown every time something happened, and he'd remember to eat and drink instead of shutting himself away from the world.

His recovery from his rebirth means he has less energy to funnel into moderating his emotions, and there's a clear look of unhappiness on his face. ]

Thanks. For sticking with him.

[ He closes his eyes again, one hand lifting to rub at his nose. ]

I wish he could see how important he is to other people, so that he could take better care of himself.

[ This is a Dokja gossip thread now, I guess. ]

[Sometimes you are a fragile lil man. Can't always be emotionally constipated inside like Eustace and D....... (they're all the same)]

I'm not sure people like Kim Dokja will ever think of themselves before those who mean a lot to them. Not that I think you're wrong.

[Dokja should look after himself so it won't become "those left behind are happy and free" rather than "those I'm with are happy and free."]

But it's why those people are there. To care for him when he forgets to care for himself. I know you already understand that.

[Dokja gossip.]

I'm glad you've returned.

[His tone doesn't betray his mood, but the words are given in his silly earnest way.]

[ D's not wrong, but the reminder doesn't go very far in assuaging his concerns (of which they are many). Though there is a little blip of embarrassment at the nice sentiment of his return that clouds the air between them before he brushes it away.

He won't be so easily distracted!! ]

And what happens when we're not here? You saw what he was like after the Oracle. [ When he died. ] We can't always be there to take care of him.

[ That's just the way life goes. He's already disappeared once, and then died after that. He's not fool enough to think that he's filled some sort of quota rendering him immune to dissipating or disappearing yet again, and he's not fool enough to believe that Gray and D will forever be around even if he isn't. ]

[Sounds like Dokja should talk to Sora Kingdom Hearts. Or maybe Riku actually, since he's the one who ratshakes Sora out of the depression.]

I don't know. I don't have an answer for a situation like that. Chances are, there will always be at least one person Dokja cares about left.

And if there isn't, I can't say with certainty he will keep living. Existence is not something I can force onto him.

[A bitter pill to swallow. He's sure Eustace wants him to say some well-meaning and reassuring thing. But Dokja is not the most level-headed person.]

[ It's unfortunate that Eustace doesn't like to hedge his bets on mere chances. Though at the rate things are going, slim chances are all he's going to have soon.

Once again, D is right. Dokja, for all his physical strength, has the mental fortitude of a wet noodle. If his original disappearance from Kenos hadn't proved that then his recent death certainly had. It's a sobering thought - depressing too - and he hasn't been able to come up with any good solution for it despite how long he's spent pondering the problem.

All he can do is work with what he has in the present. ]

And will you stay by him, in the event everyone else leaves?

[For a moment, D wants to tell Eustace that, if anything, Dokja could just side with Zenith and hedge his bets on having an Eustace Shard at the end. If it even worked that way.

But this is a little mean in the cold logic of it, and he doesn't think Eustace would appreciate it. So he says nothing about it.]

I don't mind doing that, though my company won't be much of a comfort.

[D has no real true ties to the Frontier, not ones he values himself. Not except for finding the Sacred Ancestor and having questions answered, putting a stop to the perfect being creation.

So he thinks again about the desperation of being a Zenith for a Shard. He wouldn't have one important to him, and he wonders if the two of them could hold onto Gray and Eustace together if it were just the two of them left.]

What will you do now with the time you have with him?

[ why did i make this thread so depressing

D might think of his company as little help, but Eustace feels differently. He's watched people come and go, and watched a little bit of the light fade from Dokja's eyes each time. There may be few people now Dokja considers as friends, but each of them is precious in their own way. ]

He likes you. More than he likes most people. [ Dokja may not be a stoic, but he doesn't trust easily either. ] That's enough.

[ Enough to keep Dokja from spiraling if one of them goes missing for good? Maybe not, but it's better than nothing.

As for that other question....damb. It's not so much a complicated question to answer so much as it is a deeply personal one, and he falls silent for a good handful of seconds, lips thinning as he ponders over how best to answer. In the end he shrugs, expression frank. There's only one answer to that question, as there always has and always will be. ]

Do what makes him happy.

[ Even if it's at the cost of his own well-being and comfort. He's long since learned to discard his own feelings, the constant build-up of blood on his hands enough to deter him from seeking any personal happiness or fulfillment. If it makes Dokja happy, then that's all that matters. ]

[sometimes you need some depression to be thankful of the other idiot threads!!!!!

It's strange to slowly figure out over time that Dokja is an extremely furtive man. But D supposes those sorts of people have the most to hide, especially when it's their true feelings.

He wishes people wouldn't like him, though. Eternal life is easier that way? No connections means no repeated suffering.

A hum of acknowledgement comes out of him. He watches Eustace from where he's sitting. It's the best answer he could get. D is soft that way.]

Including being happy yourself? Since it's what seems to make him the happiest.

[ Too late for D, because plenty of people already like him. Eustace may not necessarily be in that camp yet - though he certainly doesn't dislike the young (but also old?) man - but he certainly wouldn't be happy if D were to die a violent death or disappear into the woods one day.

Suck it up D and accept that you have friends now.

But also? It would be nice if D could stop asking hard questions. There's another twist to Eustace's lips as he faces the question head on, though there's less of a pause before he answers this time. ]

Seeing him happy makes me happy.

[ Not strictly true, but it's the closest he'll allow himself to being happy. ]

[This thread has gone on a wild ride, and now we're here at cute, mushy Eustace feels.

D understands the idiocy conundrum here of Eustace and Dokja wanting the other to be happy, but at the expense of their own happiness despite the happiness being contingent on the latter.]

You are both going to have to be happy together.

[Stupids.......]

I told him, by the way. About being a dhampir. Before the Oracle. Did he argue with you?

[ They'll both be happy when D's happy, how about that. :/

The question comes as a surprise though, his slowly drooping posture stiffening back up as he frowns. ]

Argue?

[ No...but now that he thinks about it, Dokja had been acting weird that last week before the Oracle, shooting him glares when he thought he could get away with it and remaining surprisingly quiet. There'd obviously been something going on, but with all the build-up and preparation needed for the Oracle there hadn't been time to ask.

And then he'd died! ]

No, but he was acting strange. Did he say he was angry with me?

[Stares at the two of them with my piercing, beady eyes.]

I assumed he would be foolish.

[Dokja seems to always be pretty foolish about a lot of things.]

Being a dhampir didn't bother him as much as it should, and yet your decision to wait until I spoke to him seems to have made him upset.

I told him not to argue with you because your intentions were to let me do it.

[He sounds a bit disappointed Dokja is choosing to be petty from... insecurity? He doesn't know.]

I'm sorry. It would have been better if you simply had told him.

[D would have accepted the brunt of the breach of trust.]

[ So all this is just Dokja being Dokja, got it. It's vaguely annoying but nothing new, and if Eustace closes his eyes and sighs again, that's just because such things have become habit by now. ]

You don't need to apologize. [ ONCE AGAIN D DID NOTHING WRONG!! ] If he was upset about it, he should have confronted me.

[ Instead of acting like a CHILD. But alas, things are never so easy in the Dokja('s ankles) household. He's not really looking forward to having this conversation, especially not when he's still recovering, but better sooner than later. ]

I'll talk to him about it. [ So they can argue. ]

[Nooooooooooooo, D doesn't want Dostace ruined which is fortunate for me because I also do not want Dostace ruined.

But there is little he can do now, as it is, and there isn't any point in getting involved in any way with this part of it. Godspeed to Dad...]

You should be resting.

[He will just day it!!!!! He's blunt like Dad, too.]

[ This kinning......

But okay, okay, FINE, he will go rest now, Eustace may be stupid but every now and then he can take a hint. It helps that he's started to feel tired again, all this Deep Discussion exhausting him further. ]

You should take it easy for awhile as well.'

[ With a pointed look at the missing arm space.

But apparently they are going to end this conversation with any talk of happier things, sorry to Yuul. Don't mind Eustace as he turns around to leave without so much as saying goodbye....it's fine, D is probably used to this. ]

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